It’s been a while since I last blogged. And naturally, it’s all Alex’s fault.
It was her idea to start watching Game of Thrones from start to finish. And after we watched the first episode, she was a changed person. Gone was the happy, hippy mother who lovingly tucked in her children at night and sent them off gently to sleep with kisses and cuddles. Instead, I would return home from work to a lady with the remote control in her hand, and a demonic look in her eye. A look that said “Get these fuckers to bed and stick the box on, stat”.
Six seasons later, we’re now done with G.O.T and we’re having to find other ways to avoid talking to each other. Hence the blog revival. Continue reading Drive.
Before the move out here, me and Uncle Sam flirted for a while. While I negotiated terms with work, we played footsy under the table. And then the deal was done – I upped and moved. We’ve been heavy petting ever since.
Continue reading Going steady.
Every Sunday, downtown Campbell closes to cars and opens to entrepreneurs who masquerade as hippies, and sell organic bread, homegrown fruit and other overpriced earthy fluff.
We’ve been so often we’ve now mastered the routine. Here are the 16 steps you need to win at an American farmer’s market.
Continue reading Master the market.
Campbell is where we live, and where we love.
We moved in 9 months ago, and in that time we’ve come to know our neighbours, and they us. To many, we’re the charming family with the cute children. To the people who live immediately next door, we’re the Brits with the ragey kids.
Here’s a few snapshots of Campbell life.
Continue reading My kind of town.
We’ve reached the 8-month mark. Alex hasn’t left me for a Silicon Valley investor, and my kids are still speaking to me. At least I think they are. It’s hard to tell these days in that weird accent of theirs.
Anyway, here’s a rundown of some of the American stuff we’ve done.
Continue reading 15 American things we’ve done.
What’s stronger than a thousand men?
More violent than a Tarantino movie?
Windier than the curry mile?
Since we moved here, the myth of El Niño has spread faster than a Californian wildfire.
Continue reading The kid is coming.
I met Alex 10 years ago.
When I realised I was punching above my weight, I proposed. We married, had kids, and argued over which traits they picked up from us (good looks and playfulness – Alex; bad eyesight and skin allergies – me).
Continue reading Five ways to meet women.
This is our kettle. God it’s awful.
Just look at it.
With its stuck-up spout and pretentious double handle that’s too hot to lift without an oven glove.
It doesn’t even have a measure on the side to let you know how many cups it will make. It just arrogantly expects you to know by sight.
And it’s annoying. So annoying. When it’s done, it’s just dying to let you know with a high-pitched whistle. “Oooooh look at me everybody, I’ve boiled the water AND I’m shrieking”. Frickin’ show-off.
Continue reading What it boils down to.