It’s been a while since I last blogged. And naturally, it’s all Alex’s fault.
It was her idea to start watching Game of Thrones from start to finish. And after we watched the first episode, she was a changed person. Gone was the happy, hippy mother who lovingly tucked in her children at night and sent them off gently to sleep with kisses and cuddles. Instead, I would return home from work to a lady with the remote control in her hand, and a demonic look in her eye. A look that said “Get these fuckers to bed and stick the box on, stat”.
Six seasons later, we’re now done with G.O.T and we’re having to find other ways to avoid talking to each other. Hence the blog revival. Continue reading Drive.
Before the move out here, me and Uncle Sam flirted for a while. While I negotiated terms with work, we played footsy under the table. And then the deal was done – I upped and moved. We’ve been heavy petting ever since.
Continue reading Going steady.
July 1 was exactly one year to the day that we arrived in the US.
It’s hard to believe how fast the time’s gone, and how little we’ve achieved. I’m still waiting for an investor to pump millions of dollars into my blog, and my 5 year old doesn’t even own a gun yet.
Mind you, with the UK going bat shit mental since we’ve been away, we feel pretty lucky to be here.
And since we moved, we’ve been building up a collection of random things we’ve learned about America and the Bay Area. Here they are.
Continue reading Happy Caliversary.
We’ve reached the 8-month mark. Alex hasn’t left me for a Silicon Valley investor, and my kids are still speaking to me. At least I think they are. It’s hard to tell these days in that weird accent of theirs.
Anyway, here’s a rundown of some of the American stuff we’ve done.
Continue reading 15 American things we’ve done.
Super Bowl is this Sunday and it’s a big freaking deal.
This year it’s being played at Levi’s Stadium, right here in the Bay Area, so Americans in our near vicinity are even more excitable than usual. In total, it’s expected that more than 120million people will tune in, just to catch a glimpse of Janet Jackson’s nipple.
But what is the Super Bowl, and why is the biggest prize in American Football named after a serving dish? Surely you want a trophy to have gravitas, not gravy…
Continue reading Bowl in the Bay.
Ava’s transformation is almost complete. All she needs is a backwards cap and a Ritalin prescription, and she’s a full-blown American child.
At home we speak British English to her – you know, the proper version of the language – but at school she’s mixing it with the natives. So, one day at a time, that lovely British accent of hers gets ground down, sprinkled with strange sounds, and mashed together into some kind of American language burger.
Continue reading Battle for Britain.
Today is exactly 6 months since we left the UK.
In that time, Alex has taken up running, Daisy has tantrummed in some of the biggest public spaces in Northern California, and Ava has turned into a walking, talking all-American kid. Me? The main change I’ve noticed is that I wear white socks more than I used to, without worrying about my street cred.
Here’s the 16 things we’ve learned since we got here… Continue reading 16 things we’ve learned about life in the US.
We need to talk about Christmas.
Mainly because I’m the only one in America with the baubles to do so.
Don’t get me wrong, Christmas over here is like everything else in America – absolutely massive.
In the UK, the biggest radio stations sprinkle classic Christmas tunes into their playlist from mid-December. But out here, brand new stations are created out of thin air, exclusively to belt out Christmas songs, 24/7. I tell you, all I want for Christmas is to not hear Mariah Carey’s god awful song every 15 minutes.
Continue reading The C-word.
Yesterday was Thanksgiving.
A day when Americans get together to watch football, eat their body weight in turkey, and open a can of thanks on one another. They thank their hosts for a lovely meal, to which their hosts say thank you. Then the dinner guests thank them for their gracious hospitality. So the hosts find something to thank them for again. And so it continues until they either run out of things to be thankful for, or they run out of cranberry sauce. At which point shit gets real.
Continue reading Thanks.